A Deadly Past
by practicemakesperfect1
Summary: Merlin would love nothing more than to never think about his past again. But when a girl comes to Camelot and begs for the kings' help, Merlin has to figure out a way to keep his past and present separate. Assassin!Merlin
1. Chapter 1

**This is purely being written to practice and improve my creative writing, so constructive criticism is welcome but please no unnecessarily cruel comments. I apologise for any spelling and grammar mistakes and feel free to point any out.**

* * *

In hindsight, Merlin really should have seen this coming.

If he had thought about it for a second instead of constantly pushing it out of his mind, he would've realised that there was no way he could have avoided them for the rest of his life. Not when they were so desperate to find him, and especially not when he was in Camelot. He hadn't bothered considering the possibility of being found after all this time. As the years had gone by Merlin was lulled into a false sense of security, the thoughts of his past nothing but a distant memory. But now it was coming back to bite him and it was biting hard.

Looking at her now, she hadn't changed as much as he thought she would. Other than a few more scars that could be seen peeking through her clothes, she still looked like the girl he knew all those years ago. Her blonde hair had grown down to her waist, falling in loose curls. Her blue eyes the same sapphire he remembered them to be, perhaps even more piercing than before. The peasant clothes she wore looked strange on her, Merlin didn't think they suited her even though she still looked beautiful in them. In Merlins mind she had been a figure of strength and confidence, yet she was currently on her knees, grovelling to the king of Camelot so he would help her small village.

"Th-thank you so much sire, your kindness knows no bounds," she choked out through sobs of relief.

The king looked down at her with a mix of pity and compassion. "I shall lead a group of knights back to your village and I promise we will help in any way we can."

She looked back at him with misty eyes, "our village has heard of Arthur Pendragon's compassion and generosity, and it is heart-warming to see the rumours are true. We shall forever be in your debt."

Coughing to hide the faint blush creeping up his neck, King Arthur gestured to a servant and told them to find her a room that she could reside in for the time being. Even when ushered out of the courtroom the girl never stopped uttering words of gratitude towards the king.

It wasn't until Arthur looked back at Merlin to see why he wasn't following that merlin stopped staring at the door the village girl had exited out of. Merlin simply grinned at the questioning stare and Arthur knew better than to dwell on his servants' strange actions. The grin slipped off his face the moment Arthur had turned around as he automatically began to follow Arthur back to his chambers.

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"You can't seriously be thinking of going, Arthur"

Arthur rolled his eyes, he knew it was only a matter of time before his servant started arguing with him about going. When will Merlin realise that 'I have a bad feeling about it' is never going to be a good enough reason? (Even if Merlin's 'feeling' is right most of the time).

"Her village needs our help and Camelot will never turn down someone who needs help."

"Her village isn't even within Camelot's borders!"

"You heard the girl, she had already gone to Cenred and he turned her away, saying that it was the villages fault for not being able to protect themselves. She had nowhere else to turn, Merlin, we're her last hope."

Merlins voice began to sound desperate. "If Cenred catches you on his land he will take it as a declaration of war. You know he has been itching to start a war with Camelot and this will give him the perfect reason."

Arthur sighed, already sick of this argument, and stared at Merlin with exhaustion clear in his eyes. " _Children,_ Merlin. How could I ignore her plea for help, when I know that if I do those children will still be prisoners to a group of bandits? The bandits could be torturing them, selling them as slaves, and no one would ever save them. How could I live with myself, knowing that? I'm sorry Merlin, but we are helping them and that's final." By the time he had finished the exhaustion in his epression was replaced with a fierce determination.

Not bothering to wait for Merlin's response, he turned away and headed for his chambers in order to sort out the arrangements for this trip.

* * *

Merlin watched him walk away, growing more and more frustrated with every step Arthur took. He knew that wasn't going to work, after all he had never been able to convince Arthur out of going before. Why does Arthur never listen to him, when he has never been wrong before? It's starting to feel as if Merlin shouldn't even bother trying at all.

With an annoyed sigh he began to walk back to his room, knowing there was no point following Arthur when he's like that. His thoughts turned to more pressing matters. Merlin wasn't sure he would be able to save Arthur without consequences this time, there was too much at stake. Not only did he have to keep Arthur alive, but he had to make sure that his past and present did not clash. Merlin didn't dare think of what would happen if Arthur and knights were to find out who he used to be. Seeing their betrayed expressions would hurt Merlin more than he cared to admit.

The trip back to his quarters passed too quickly for his liking, and already he has to face Gaius. Even Gaius didn't know of merlins past, and as much as he hated keeping secrets from him Merlin couldn't tell Gaius. No one knew what he had gone through, not even his mother. Hunith had some idea but Merlin refused to talk about it with her, not wanting to burden her with the knowledge of his suffering.

Opening the door, Merlin made sure to have a smile on his face as he greeted Gaius. Gaius looked up from the book he was reading and knew immediately something was wrong. After living with merlin for years he had grown to love him as a son and could distinguish between his fake and genuine smile. Ignoring his curiosity and concern, Gaius merely smiled back as Merlin went straight to his room. Both smiles dropped as soon as the door closed.

Later that night, sleep evaded Merlin, his mind too full of thoughts and worries to relax. There are 2 constant questions that kept resurfacing and nagging at him as he lay there. The first wondering why a professional assassin would lure the king of Camelot out of his castle instead of simply killing him inside it, the second being how he was going to make it out of this situation alive and without a collar around his neck.

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On the other side of the castle, a girl tied a strip of parchment to a crow and shooed it away. Watching the crow fly away, the girl's expression morphed into one that did not look like it belonged on her face. It was one of pure malice, a vicious mixture of cruelty and victory. The parchment that the crow carried had just one sentence written on it, ' _dragon has been found'._

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 **Thank you for reading the first chapter of 'A deadly Past', Feedback is always appreciated.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Please remember that the aim of the story is to improve my creative writing, so if you find anything please tell me, even if it is a simple grammatical error or phrase you didn't like, so I can fix it and become a better writer. Thank you to those that reviewed, they really helped me find the courage to continue this story.**

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The next day, Merlin did everything he could to keep busy.

When Gaius woke up to see Merlin finally cleaning the leech tank, to say he was shocked would be an understatement. When Merlin then started to organise the different herbs and medicines, Gaius thought he was still dreaming. When Merlin left to attend Arthur and said nothing but a quick farewell, Gaius became thoroughly confused. As he sat there in silence, contemplating Merlin's new behaviour, worries and doubts began to gnaw at Gaius' conscience. Whenever Merlin had acted out of character before, there had always been something wrong. He decided to not say anything about it for now though, instead choosing to hope that his new work ethic would continue.

The same thing happened in Arthur's chambers, if a bit more subtle. Everything happened as it did every other morning, with Merlin waking his King up by yanking back the curtains, pleasantly reminding him of his duties for the day, and Arthur complaining the whole time. They still talked and teased each other like they did every morning while Arthur got ready, but Arthur could sense there was something wrong. Merlin's answers lacked their usual bite, and the tone was slightly off. Arthur chose to ignore this however, sure that nothing was wrong, and that perhaps Merlin just wasn't feeling right that morning.

Both Arthur and Gaius barely saw Merlin for the rest of the day, and when they did he was always busy doing chores. Arthur was shocked when he came across Merlin polishing his armour even though he hadn't asked him to, but quickly masked it was amusement, and joked that Merlin had finally learnt how to be a proper servant. All Arthur got in return was a quick grin before Merlin turned back to the task at hand.

Gaius was more concerned than surprised when he spotted Merlin cleaning his room. Watching Merlin move automatically around the room, picking up clothes as he went and putting them where they were meant to be, unnerved Gaius. He realised that whatever had gotten into Merlin was worse than he had thought, and knew he needed to talk to Merlin about it at some point. Gaius decided that there was no point interrupting Merlin now though, not when that room had needed to be cleaned for months.

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Having to sit through a council meeting for hours on end only made Merlin's unease grow. He had spent the whole day doing chore after chore to keep his mind off everything. If Merlin was too busy to even think, that meant he couldn't dwell on the girl staying in one of Camelot's guest rooms, or anything she represented. Unfortunately, his plan even hadn't lasted the whole day before he was forced to stop. The council meeting gave Merlin ample time to think about everything.

Seeing this as a chance to plan how he is going to go about this, even if he didn't want to, Merlin went over the main points. First, there is a trained assassin currently residing in the castle. Second, she, for reasons unknown, wants to lure Arthur out of the castle. Third, the assassin knows of Merlin's past and can use this against him.

The last point made his stomach clench and his pulse quicken, but he couldn't let it get to him. There was always the possibility she decides not the mention anything, but Merlin wasn't going to fool himself into thinking that. Merlin knew what the girl was like, and if she finds out that Arthur didn't know anything about Merlin's past and that telling Arthur would be beneficial, his secret was as good as gone. The girl wouldn't care that it would ruin his life, or what this secret could do to Arthur. Uther's death and Morgana's betrayal had drove Arthur to the edge, and finding out Merlin's past could very well break him. Merlin had to make sure that never happened.

By the time the council meeting was drawing to a close, Merlin had convinced himself of what he needed to do, and left as soon as he saw a chance.

* * *

"A bit different from your usual job, isn't it?"

The girl was still in her dirt smeared clothes, even though there were fresh clothes sitting right beside her bed. Merlin had heard that she had refused to change since arriving at Camelot, and the information didn't surprise him. She was sitting by the guest room's mirror, combing her hair, and didn't turn to look at him when he spoke.

"And how would you know?" Still she refused to look at Merlin, and he was starting to get irritated. "People change, and you should know that first hand, _Merlin._ "

The girl had turned around as she spat his name out, and when she finally did look at him he wished she hadn't. Her posture may have indicated no hostility, but her eyes betrayed her. They held clear hatred and spite in them, and Merlin felt himself flinch as he looked into them. Not because of the anger, but because of the pain he had managed to see hidden underneath before she looked away. It filled him shame, knowing that he had left her all alone at that place, and yet never considered going back to save her.

Merlin knew he couldn't let the conversation end like this. "If you're anything like the little girl I knew, who would always complain about how long a mission is taking, then this isn't your type of mission."

Her eyes hardened and any emotion they had previously displayed was now gone. "That girl is dead, she died when the one person she thought she was able to trust, abandoned her."

There was no emotion in her voice, and that somehow made it worse. Merlin barely managed to stop himself from cringing. He knew he deserved that and so much more, and knew that if it was anyone but her his cheek would be stinging.

The silence stretched on until the girl spoke again, turning away and tilting her head up. "But the girl you're talking about never complained, she simply pointed out that the best course of action was to finish the job quickly and escape before anyone could even notice they were there at all."

The laugh escaped Merlin before he could stop it. "Are you sure? Because I remember sitting around a campfire and listening to her go on and on about how 'if we go in now, we can get back to the castle and have a bath and a proper meal before the day was out'."

"We were in that forest for _weeks_! I was covered in dirt from head to toe and everyone on that mission stunk. It was perfectly logical to want to get the job over and done with." The girl finished with a huff.

Merlin was laughing freely now, and it was as if nothing had even happened between them. The tension is the air was lifted and now it felt like they were just two friends catching up and reminiscing about old times. It didn't last long though, as there was a knock at the door.

They both looked at each other, momentarily paralysed with shock before the girl shoved Merlin into the closet. Still sluggish from the turn of events, he only registered what had happened after the cupboard door had shut and he heard voices. Merlin made sure to be as quiet as possible until the servant left and the closet was opened. Luckily the servant didn't stay long and he was able to get out before his position became uncomfortable. Wordlessly, the girl opened the closet and walked back over to the mirror. It was clear from her body language that their conversation was over and he should leave. Even though Merlin hadn't managed to find out what she wanted to accomplish by being here and getting the king out of his castle, he began to walk to the door without complaint.

Merlin hesitated when he reached the door, hand stuck halfway between himself and the doorway.

"Although I know I do not deserve your forgiveness, I wanted you to now that I am truly sorry for leaving you, Rose."

Not waiting for a response, and doubting he would get one even if he did, he slipped through the door just as quietly as he did when entering.

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 **Thank you so much for reading and please review, the more reviews the more motivation I have to continue this story.**


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